FADE IN…
EXT.
COMPOUND OF HOUSE – DAY
FADE IN…
Doors opens
and in comes Rangeela (45 plus), fat and balding and Raghu and Raju – both 24
tall, muscular and good looking.
RANGEELA
JI
Aaiye
aaiye. Yahi hai mera gareeb
khana
All
comes in a central compound. There are rooms for rent on all four sides of
building.
In
four rooms four different people are already living.
We
see all people are on the balconies of their rooms.
First
we come across Ruby- 24, model look and modern life style.
RUBY
Hello Rangeela bhai.
RANGEELA
JI
Hello
RAGHU
Kya
pathaka maal hai.
RAJU
Tu
ho gaya shuru. Abhee sans le
le.
Abhi abhi aaye hain delhi se.
RANGEELA
JI
Raghu and Raju ye hain Ruby.
Next
bollywood superstar.
RAGHU
Really
Rangeela bhai.
RAJU
Fir
to autograph le lena chahiye
abhee.
RUBY
Ha
ha . aisa nahin hai Rangeela
bhai.
RANGEELA
JI
Ok
Ruby. Ye hamare naye
kirayeddar
hain. Raghu and
Raju.
Delhi se aaye hain.
RUBY
Hello.
RAGHU
AND RAJU
Hello.
Mr
Bhinde is lying on his lawn chair and is in his vest and reading newspaper. In
front of him his wife is also sitting. She is also reading a book.
RANGEELA
JI
Aur
wo hai Mr Bhinde. Hdfc main
manager
rahe hain. aur wo
Mrs
Bhinde. Housewife hain.
RAGHU
AND RAJU
Namste.
BHINDE
Trouble.
I must tell you.
Just
then Aastha comes with her son Arpit who is going to school.
AASTHA
Namste
Rangeela bhai.
RANGEELA
JI
Namste.
ARPIT
Good
morning uncle.
RANGEELA
JI
Good
morning Arpit.
AASTHA
Naye
tenant hain kya.
RANGEELA
JI
Haan.
Ragu and Raju. Ye asstha
jee
hain.
RAJU
AND RAGHU
Hello
AASTHA
Hello
AASTHA
Ok.
hum chalte hain. arpit kee
school
bus ka time ho raha hai.
Astha
and arpit goes out.
RAGHU
Ye
married hain kya?
RANGEELA
JI
Divorced
hain.
RAGHU
Oh.
RANGEELA
JI
Chalo
main tum logon ko
tumhara
apartment dikha
doon.
RAJU
Jee
jee chaliye.
INT.
APARTMENT LIVING ROOM – DAY
Rangeela ji, Raghu
and Raju come in a well furnished apartment.
RANGEELA
JI
Ye
raha aap logon ka rajmahal. Kaisa laga.
RAJU
Ummm Accha hai.
RANGEELA
JI
Mumbai
main har cheej mil
jatee
hai. accommodation nahin
milti.
Tum log lucky ho.
Rangeela ji
shows Raghu and Raju different rooms.
RANGEELA
JI
Ye
raha kitchen…
RANGEELA
JI
Bedroom..
RANGEELA
JI
Drawing
room…
RANGEELA
JI
Ok
ab main chalunga.
Raghu
and Raju starts cheking out friz and Tv and ignore Rangeela ji.
RANGEELA
JI
Umm..wo
aap log mujhe rent de
dijiye.
Main chalunga.
RAGHU
Haan..
Raghu
and Raju look at each other.
RAGHU
Are
Rangeela bhai abhi to kuch
nahin
hai.
RANGEELA
JI
Kya
matlab.
RAJU
(whispers to Raghu)
Abe.
Abhee murga naya hai. abhee
dana
daal dete hain baad main dekha
jayega.
RANGEELA
JI
Kya khusr fusr ker rahe hain
aap
donon.
RAJU
Nahin
nahin. ye majak ker raha
tha.
Purani aadat hai iski.
RANGEELA
JI
Oh
ha ha ha.. acha hua aapne bata
diya.
Verna mera temper baher aa
raha
tha.
RAGHU
Nahin
nahin bhai temper to ander
hee
acha lagta hai.
Raghu
counts money and hands it over to Rangeela.
RAGHU
Lijiye.
Pure 50 hazar. Including
security.
Rangeela
ji takes money greedily and weighs the bundle.
RANGEELA
JI
Pure
hain. ok ab main chalta hun.
RAJU
Ok.
Rangeela ji
goes towards the door then stops.
RANGEELA
JI
Meri
kuch shartein hain.
RAGHU
Acha
bhai paise milte hee shartein
yaad
aa gayein.
RANGEELA
JI
No
loud music, no daru, no party.
RAJU
Aur
kuch
RANGEELA
JI
Nahin..haan
wo no ladkibaaji,
Rangila
goes out and shuts the door.
RAGHU
Are
yaar iski shartein to badee
khaternaak
hain.
RAJU
Hee
hee. Jane de jane de. Agar
ye
Rangeela hai to hum bhee Raghu
and
Raju hain. Sari delhi ko loot
ker
yahan aaye hain. dheere dheere
khud
line per aa jayega.
BOTH
Ha
ha ha.
Both
give a hi-fi.
INT.
RUBY’S APARTMENT – DAY
Ruby is
standing in front of someone.
RUBY
Dekho
ab kuch nahin ho sakta. Hamare
beech
sb kuch khatm ho chuka hai. kb
tak
jay. Akhir kab tak. Kab tak muje
dhokhe
main rakhoge. Tumhare aur
jyoti
kee beech kya hai mujhe sab
pata
chal gaya hai.
Camera
then shows us that Ruby is talking to teddy bear lying on the chair. She is
rehearsing her lines.
RUBY
Behas
kerne se koi fayda nahin
hai.
Ab jao yahan se. kismet
na
ho manzil to…(forgets) shit.
Ruby
moves to and fro and tries to remember her lines.
RUBY
Shit
man. baar baar yahi line
bhool
jati hun.
INT.
APARTMENT – DAY
Camera
shows us Raghu who is watching Ruby through binocular from the window. Raju is
doing push ups. He is shirtless.
RAGHU
Ssach
main yaar kya beauty hai.
RAJU
Kon.
RAGHU
Are
wahi apni Ruby.
RAJU
Haan
wo to hai.
RAGHU
Yaar
kya sach main wo heroine
hogi.
RAJU
Struggler.
RAGHU
Struggler
RAJU
Haan
struggler.
RAGHU
Tujhe
kaise pata.
RAJU
Come
on. Ye Mumbai hai. yahan her
doosre
ghar main ek struggler
mil
jayega. Agar wo real main actress
hoti
to is do take ke apartment main
rehti.
RAGHU
Hmm.
Point to hai teri baat main.
Per
kuch bhee ho yaar. Tere bhai
ko
pyar ho gaya hai.
RAJU
Wo
to tujhe har din aur har doosri
ladkee
se hota hai.
RAGHU
Nahin yar. lekin iski baat alag
hai.
RAJU
Hunh. Dekhta reh din main khaab.
Raghu
again looks into binocular and Raju keeps doing his pushups.
INT.
BHINDE’S APARTMENT – DAY
Junior Bhinde
is in 12th class. He is sitting on his study table. In front of him
is a big heap of books.
Behind him Bhinde
and and Mrs Bhinde are also sitting and reading.
BHINDE’S
SON
Papa
main kehlne jaun.
BHINDE
Are
beta. Ye kehlne ka time nahin
hai.
padhne ka hai. ek baar IIT
main
selction ho gayee. Seddha
abroad
jaoge.
BHINDE’S
SON
Mujhe
abroad nahin jana.
BHINDE
Koi
baat nahin. India main bhee
bahut
see MNC hain.
BHINDE’S
SON
Papa
mujhe MNC main nahin jana.
BHINDE
Fir
kahan jana hai.
BHINDE’S
SON
Bahar
ground main. Cricket khelne.
BHINDE
Hey
bhagwan. Kitni baar samjhaya
hai
is ladke ko. Ek baar enginnering
kar
lo. Achi job ker lo. Fir
sari
zindgi cricket hee to kheloge.
BHINDE’S
SON
Jaise
aap khel rahe ho. High blood
pressure,
diabetes aur ghutnon
ke
dard ke sath.
BHINDE’S
WIFE
Don’t
argue with your father.
BHINDE’S
SON
Sorry mummy.
Junior
Bhinde starts reading again.
INT.
APARTMENT – DAY
Landlord’s
daughter Minchi comes inside with a lunch box. She is young, beautiful, flirt
and bindaas. Raghu and Raju are semi-naked and watching TV.
MINCHI
Hello.
Raghu
and Raju are startled.
MINCHI
Hai…kya
sexy londe hain.
Both
dresses up.
RAGHU
Aye
kon ho tum.
MINCHI
Main
Minchi.
RAJU
Minchi.
Kon minchi.
MINCHI
Aapke
landlord kee beti.
RAGHU
Oh.
minchi ji jara knock kerk aaya
kariye
na.
MINCHI
Are.
knock karke aati to aap dono
kee
sexy body kaise dekhne ko milti.
RAJU (whispers)
Beta
isse bach ke rahiyo. Kahin
rape
na ho jaye.
RAGHU
(whispers)
Haan
yaar.
RAGHU
Acchha
bolo minchi. Kaise aayee.
MINCHI
Machi
layee hun. Main bahut achhee
cook
hun. Jo mere hath ka bana ek
baar
khata hai na. baar baar khana
pasand
kerta hai.
RAJU
Really.
MINCHI
Haan.
Accha ye lo. Kha ke batao.
Kaisee
bani hai.
RAJU
Udhar
rakh do. hum raaat ko
khayenge.
Dinner main ok.
MINCHI
Ok.
main yaahn baith jaun.
RAGHU
Haan
haan. Apna hee ghar samjho.
RAJU
Matlab
tumhara ghar hee to hai.
Minchi
sits on bed.
RAJU
Aur
minchi. Tum karti kya ho.
MINCHI
Kuch
nahin.
RAJU
Kuch
nahin. matlab school, college.
MINCHI
Haan
school to jati thee. Per sare
ladke
fail hone lage to school walo
ne
nikal diya.
RAGHU
Sare
ladke fail. Kise.
MINCHI
Haan.
Sab din raat mere hee
khyalon
main khoye rehte the.
Kisi
ka man padhaee main nahin
lagta
tha.
RAJU
Haan
haan. Lagegea bhee kaise.
Tum
ho hee itni khoobsurat.
MINCHI
Sach
main.
RAJU
Haan.
MINCHI
To
tum mujhe date per leker
chaloge.
RAJU
Kya.
Date per. Haan …but abhee time
nahin
hai. hum log bahut busy hain
aajkal.
MINCHI
Koi
baat nahin. main intezaar
ker
lungi. Waise aap dono kerte
kya
ho.
RAGHU
Hum
log artist hain.
MINCHI
Con
artist..ha ha.
RAGHU
Are
ise kaise pata chala.
RAJU
Ye
tum kya keh rahi ho minchi.
MINCHI
Are
main to majak ker rahee thee.
Acha
batao mere painting kab bana
rahe
ho.
RAJU
Painting…
Are hum artist nahin hai. hamara
business
hai.
MINCHI
Kaisa business.
RAJU
Wo idhar udhar kerne ka
MINCHI
Idhar-udhaar
RAGHU
Iska matlab..import –export.
MINCHI
Oh..ha ha ha..mujhe imported ladke
bahut
acche lagte hain. hee hee.
RANGEELA
JI
Minchi.
Minchi.
MINCHI
Are baap re. ye to papa kee awaj
hai.
Accha main chalti hun. Papa ko
batana
mat
ki main yahan aayee thee. Wo hamesha
mujh
per shak kerte rehte hain.
RAJU
Haan. Haan nahin batayenge. Dhayan
se
jana.
Minchi
smiles and goes out.
INT.
APARTMENT BED ROOM – NIGHT
There is dark.
Just then we hear a loud and harsh voice of tenant Kaviraaj. He is dong riyaaz
at 4 am in the morning.
KAVIRAAJ
Jago
mohan pyare..bhor bhee ab
jago.
Sa re dha ni…
Lights
comes up. we see Raghu and Raju are sitting on bed.
RAJU
Ye
kon gala faad raha hai.
RAGHU
Kya
time hua hai.
RAJU
Abhee
to char hee baje hain.
RAGHU
Ye
kon hai yar. saree neend
haraam
ker dee sale ne.
RAJU
Chal
neeche chalke dekhte
hain.
Raghu
and Raju go out.
INT.
KAVIRAAZ ROOM – NIGHT
Raghu and Raju
come inside. Kaviraaj is doing his riyaz.
RAGHU
Bhai
sahab.
Kaviraaj
doesn’t listen and continue with riyaaz.
RAJU
Bhai
sahab.
Kaviraaj
keeps on doing riyaz. Rahgu holds his hand. Kaviraaj stops and opens his eyes.
RAGHU
Bhai
sahab ye kaya ker rahain hain
aap.
KAVIRAAJ
Kya
ker raha hun. Riyaj ker raha
hun.
RAJU
Lekin
ye kon sa time hai riyaz
kerne
ka. Time jante ho aap kya
hua
hai.
RAGHU
Subeh
ke abhee char baj rahe hain.
KAVIRAAJ
Utaam.
Ati uttam. Yahi to sarvottam
samya
hai bairagi bhairav ke riyaz
ke
liye. Is raag ka riyaz brahammuhurat
bella
main hee kerna chahiye. Aap
bhee
aiye, baithiye aur suniye.
Is
raag ke sunne matar se –
depression,
diabetes, uchh raktchp
ityadi
rogon ka vinash hota hai.
RAJU
Hamara
to badh raha hai. blood pressure.
RAGHU
Dekhiye
bhaisahib. Filhaal to aapky
riyaz
se haemin anidra rog ho raha
hai.
so kripa kerke apna ye
riyaz
band kijiye.
KAVIRAAJ
Aisa
ho nahin sakta. Lekin ek
upaye
hai hamare pass.
Kaviraaj
goes to table and brings some earmuffs and gives to Raghu and Raju.
RAGHU
Ye
kya hai.
KAVIRAAJ
Ear
muffs. Aap log shayad naye aaye
hain.
Is building main sabko bhent
kiye
hain maine. Ye lijiye, laagyie
aur
chain se soyie. Shub prhabaht.
Both
takes ear muffs and go out.
Next
day
INT.
APARTMENT – DAY
Raghu
and Raju are walking to and fro and thinking.
RAJU
Yar.
ye shaeher to bahut mehnga
hai.
sare paise to ye Rangeela le
gaya.
Kaise survive karenge yahan.
RAGHU
Jaise
ab tak kerte aa rahe hain.
logon
ko ullu banake.
RAJU
To
soch fir. Koi dhansu sa idea.
Both
start moving again.
RAJU
Idea.
RAGHU
Kya.
Raju
whispers in Raghu’s ear.
RAGHU
Hun.
Idea to bura nahin hai.
lekin
jayada nahin milne wala.
RAJU
Are raat kee party ka jugaad ho
jaye
bas.
INT.
BUILDING - STAIRS – DAY
Raghu and Raju
are climbing the stairs of building. Raghu is bearing a black spects and
holding a white folding stick meant for blind people. He is acting as a blind
man. Raju is bearing a kurta and has a jhola on shoulder as if he was some
social activist. Raju is holding hand of Raghu and helping him climbing stairs.
INT.BUILDING
– IIND FLOOR ROOM – DAY
Raju
pushes the doorbell. A lady opens the door.
RAJU
Namste
madam.
LADY
Namste.
Kon hain aap log?
RAJU
Ji main shardanand shastri. Main
NETRA naam ki NGO chalata
hun. Ye
Mr Murli hain. NGO ke
secretary
hain. Drishtivihin hain
bechare.
RAGHU
Nahin shrdanand ji. bechara
to
na kahiye. Madma main andha
jaroor
hun lekin koi bhikhari nahin
hun.
hamein kisi se kuch nahin
chahiye.
Lekin haan hum chahte hain
ki
society sabke prati sambedan
–
sheel and caring bane.
LADY
Oh
mr murli. Aapki life bahut tough
hai.
main smajh sakti hun. Aap main
sach
main bahut himmat hai.
RAGHU
Thank
you.
RAJU
Mam
kya aap kuch donation kerna
chahengi.
actually NETRA blind logon
ke
liye brail kitabein khareedna
chahtee
hai.
LADY
Haan.
Haan sure. Aap yahin rukiye.
Main
abhee aayee.
The
lady goes inside and returns after a short while.
LADY
Ye
lijiye.
The
lady hands over Raju a 500 ruppees notes. Raju takes the money and puts in
jhola.
RAJU
Thank
you so much mam. aap sach
main
bahut dyalau ishtri hain.
aapka
naam.
LADY
Sarla.
Raju
writes on a receipt and gives it to the lady.
RAJU
Ok
mam. Thank you. Namsete.
LADY
Namste
RAGHU
Namsete mam.
LADY
Namste.
Raju and Raghu
start climbing upstairs. The lady goes inside and shuts the door.
RAGHU
Yar
bas 500.
RAJU
Kam
hain. lekin is building
main
100 apartment hain. 50 hazar
to
ban hee jayenge.
RAGHU
Chal.
der mat kar.
Both
climbs upstairs to other apartment.
INT.
APARTMENT – DAY
Raghu and Raju
come in the room. Raghu throws his spects aside. And Raju his jhola. Raghu
jumped in sofa. And Raju goes to friz. He takes out a water bottle come and
sits on carpet on floor.
RAGHU
Uff
yar. aaj to bukhar ho jayega.
Itni
mehnat maine aaj tak nahin kee.
tujhe
koi dhang ka idea nahin sujhta.
RAJU
To
tu soch leta kuch.
Raju
drinks from bottle. Raghu takes the bottle and also drinks.
RAGHU
Hey
chal ginte hain yar.
Raju
takes the money out from jhola. They start counting.
RAJU
45,000.
RAGHU
Bas
RAJU
ya
RAGHU
Itni
mehnat kerne ke baad bhee
RAJU
Kam
se kam ek mahine ka rent
to
nikal hee aya.
RAGHU
Yar
aise kaam nahin chalega. Haemin
kuch
bada sochna padega.
RAGHU
Chod ye sab. Aisa kerte hain
disco
chaltein hai. daru –sharu
peetein
hai aur thoda jeete hain.
kya bolta
hai.
RAJU
Party
to party to party to bantee
hai.
INT.
DISCO – NIGHT
Raghu
and Raju come in dicco. It is full of people. There is music, smoke and
multi-colored neon lights. People are dancing. Raghu and Raju go to bar and
drink wine at the bar. They then join the crowd on the dance floor and start
dancing.
EXT.
BHINDE’S APARTMENT – DAY
Raghu
and Raju come in compound. Junior Bhinde is sitting on stairs sadly.
RAGHU
Hi
junior. Ye kya munh latka ker
baitha
hai.
BHINDE’S
SON
Kuch
nahin.
RAJU
Kuch
to hai. hame bata na. hamare
paas
her beemari ka ilaaj hai.
personal
and private.
BHINDE’S
SON
Really.
RAJU
Haan
aur kya. ab bata. hum bachhon
ko
dhukhi nahin dekh sakte.
BHINDE’S
SON
Actually
mummy dad hamesha mere
peeche
pade rehte hain.
RAGHU
Per
kyun.
BHINDE’S
SON
Study
study study. 24 ghante
study.
Mujhe khelna bhee aloowed
nahin
hai. wo kehte hain IIT se
enginnering
kerni hai to padhte
raho.
Khelo mat.
RAJU
Oh.
sad yar. aajkal ye bimari
Her
middle class parent ko lagee
huee
hai.
RAGHU
Lekin
kuch to kerna padega is bacche
ke
liye. Kuch soch yaar.
Both
starts walking to and fro like pendulum.
RAGHU
Ho gaya.
RAJU
Kya.
Raghu
whispers in Raju’s ear.
RAGHU
Ok.
beta tum ander jao. ham
abhe
tumhari mushkil solve ker
denge.
BHINDE’S
SON
Sach
main bhaiyaa.
RAGHU
Haan
aur kya.
BHINDE’S
SON
Ok.
Bhinde
jr. goes inside.
INT.
BHINDE’S APARTMENT – DAY
Bhinde,
wife and junior are in room. All are busy studying some books. Just then
doorbell rings.
BHINDE
Ruko
main dekhta hun.
Bhinde
opens the door. Raghu and Raju come inside.
Raghu
is in getup of Dumbledoor and Raju is Hagrid of Harry potter novel.
BHINDE
Kon
hai aap log. Ye kya haal
bana
rakha hai.
Wife
and son also come near.
RAJU
Jee
hum log HSE se aaye hain.
BHINDE
HSE?
RAJU
Hogwart
school of engineering.
Ye
professor Dumbledor hain aur
main
Hagrid.
BHINDE’S
WIFE
Dumledore
aur hagrid. Matlab
harry
ke school Hogwart se.
RAGHU
Nahin.
Wo to Hogwart tha. Sirf
Hogwart.
BHINDE
Lekin
Dumbledore aur Hagrid to
Hogwart
main hee the.
RAGHU
Actually ab uska standard
gir
gaya hai. isliye humne wahan
se
resign ker diya.
BHINDE’S
WIFE
Lekin
Hagrid to bahut mota tha.
RAJU
Are
maine wo JBC join ker rakha
hai
na. bahut acahe hai. kafi
weight
loose kiya. Sexy lag raha
hun
na.
BHINDE’S
WIFE
Haan.
BHINDE
Ok.
wo sab chodiye. Ye bataiye
aap
hamare ghar kyun aaye hain.
BHINDE’S
WIFE
Ab
ye mat kehna hamra beta harry
ka
bhai hai.
RAGHU
Nahin.
aapke bete main talent
hain.
ham use jadoo ki duniya main
le
jaane aaye hain.
BHINDE
Kya….
RAGHU
Jee..
BHINDE
Ek
minute. Zadoo jaise koi cheej
nahin
hoti.
BHINDE’S
WIFE
Tum
chup raho. Ab tum kahoge
harry
potter bhee nahin hai.
BHINDE
Nahin
main ye kabhee nahin kahunga.
BHINDE’S
WIFE
Hagrid ji, hamara beta
engineer
banega na..
RAJU
Jee
haan. Kyun nahin.
BHINDE
Nahin.
main apne bete ko jaduee
enginner
nahin banana. Main use
asli
enginner banana chahta hun.
IIT
wala.
BHINDE’S
WIFE
Dekho
tum wo galtee mat karo jo
Vernon
ne kee thee.
BHINDE
Tum
chahtee ho ki mera beta whaan
jaker
panch saal tak us gunde
se
lade jiska naam bhee nahin
liya
ja sakta.
RAGHU
Voldemort
mar chukka hai. aur hum
enginnering
school main hai na
ki
hogwart main.
BHINDE
Kya
fark padta hai. zadoo to zadoo
hota
hai. aur zaoo kee duniya
voldemort
jaise gundon se bhari
hai
BHINDE’S
WIFE
Are
haan ye to maine socha hee
nahi.
Nahin bhai hum apne
bete
ko IIT bhejenge HSE nahin.
RAJU
Thik
hai fir agar aap nahin
mane
to haemin action lena padega.
BHINDE
Kaisa
action.
RAJU
Well
hum ministry
main
aap logon kee shikayat karenge.
fir
wo log dementors bhejenge.
I
hope aap jante honge ki dementors
kya
kerte hain.
BHINDE
Nahin.
RAJU
Wo
pappi lete hain. Maut kee paapi.
Pappi
leker wo aapki atma ko chus
jatae
hain. aur aap merte ho ek
dardnaak
maut.
BHINDE
AND WIFE (SCREAM)
Nahin…………
BHINDE
Ok. theek hai. theek hai.
aap haamre
bete ko le jayee.
RAJU
Ok
then.
RAGHU
Ok
beta. Monday ko raat ke 2 baje
taiyar
rehna. Hum vayumarg se
aayenge
aur aapko le jayenege.
BHINDE’S
SON
Ok Hagrid. Thank you very much.
Raju
and Raghu goes out.
INT.
BHINDE’S APARTMENT – DAY
Bhinde
ji and wife are sitting on chairs with sad expressions. Today they are not
reading anything.
Ragu
and Raju come there.
RAGHU
Kya
baat hai Bhinde ji.
BHINDE
Kuch
nahin kuch nahin. aap log jao.
RAJU
Kuch
to hai.
RAGHU
Kahin
aapke pass hogwart enginnering
wale
to nahi aaye the.
BHINDE
Hmm.
Are in logon ko kaise pata
chala.
RAJU
Actually
hamne pehle bhee aisa
case
solve kiya tha.
BHINDE
Case
solve kiya tha matlab.
RAGHU
Matlab
ye log jabardasti doosron
ke
bachoon ko utha ker hogwart le
jate
hain. aap hee bataiyee ye
koi
tareeka hai.
RAJU
Zadoo
koi acchee cheej hai kya.
BHINDE
Aayee
aayee. Aap log ander aayee.
INT.
BHINDE’S APARTMENT – DAY
Binde
and family are standing with Raghu and Raju.
RAGHU
Ok.
to aapke pass ye log aaye the.
RAJU
But
don’t worry. ham aise nahin
hone
denge. Lekin kuch fees lagegi.
BHINDE
Fees.
Kitni.
RAGHU
Waise
to hum 50K lete hain. but aap
itne
ache padosi hain to aap 25 de
dena.
BHINDE
25.
oh god.
BHINDE’S
WIFE
Kya
oh god. Apne bete ko bachane ke
liye
log jaan tak de dete hain.
aap
25 tak nahin de sakte.
BHINDE
Ok
ok. le lena. lekin aap log karoge
kya.
RAJU
Wo
sab aap hum per chod dijiye. Ab
aap
hamari fees de dijiye fir hum
chalein.
Bahut kaam kerne hain.
Bhinde
goes inside and comes back with money. He gives them the money.
RAGHU
Thank
you. Ab aap aaram kariye
hum
kaam per lagte hain.
INT.
BHINDE’S APARTMENT – DAY
Ragu
comes inside. He is holding a bag.
RAGHU
Bhinde
ji.
Bhinde
and wife and son come running to him.
BHINDE
Kya
hua Raghu.
RAGHU
Kaam
ho gaya. Ye lijiye.
Raghu
gives Bhinde a certificate.
BHINDE
Ye
kya hai.
RAGHU
Aapke
bete ka HSE se rejection
certificate.
BHINDE
Sach
main.
He
reads.
BHINDE
Ye
kamal tumne kiya kaise.
RAGHU
Humne
unhe kaha ki unke ladka to
pehle
hee IIT main select ho gaya
hai.
isliye ladke per pehla hak
unka
hai.
BHINDE
Fir..
RAGHU
Fir
kya. Wo bhadak gaye. Wo to
aapse
donation lene ke chakker
main
the.
BHINDE
Sach
main.fir kya hua.
RAGHU
Hagrid
ne hum per hamla ker diya.
Lekin
Raju ne use goli maar dee.
BHINDE
Kya.
Hagrid ab is duniya main
nahin
hai.
RAGHU
Us
duniya main.
BHINDE
Haan
haan wahi.
Lekin
hum kaise maan lein.
BHINDE
Mujhe
pata tha shak kerna aapki
purani
aadat hai. ye raha proof.
Raghu
shows Hagrids clothes with blood.
BERTHA
Ye
dekhiye
BHINDE’S
WIFE
Haaa…ye
to hagrid ke kapde hain.
BHINDE
oh.
lekin ye rejection certificate
tumne
liya kaise.
RAGHU
Are
wo budhaee Dumbledore hai
na.
haemin blackmail kerne laga.
To
humne ulta use blackmail ker
diya.
Humnei kaha ki hum
ministry
main bol denege ki
tumen
hagrid se haamri hataya
kerwani
kee koshish kee hai.
BHINDE
Oh.
fir.
RAGHU
Fir
wo dar gaya. Aur humne
kaha
ki agar Azkaban se
bachna
hai to chupchap rejection
certificate
de de.
BHINDE
Ok.
ok. excellent. Excellent.
BHINDE’S
WIFE
Lekin
aapka dost Raju kahan
hai.
RAGHU
Jail
main.
BHINDE
Jail.
RAGHU
haan.
Hagrid ko marne ke
jurm
main.
BHINDE
Lekin
wo to self defence tha.
RAGHU
Wahi
to. lekin udher bhee na kuch
Indian
kaam ker rahen hain. jaabrdasti
Raju
ko arrest kerke le gaye. Ab
keh
rahin hai chudana hai to kuch
ghus
deni padegi. Aap 15K de do.
BHINDE
Kya.
Kya matlab. Main kyun dun.
Main
nahin dene wala.
RAGHU
Fir
to museebat ho jayegi. Wo log
janch
aayog bithane kee keh rahe
the.
Fir to aap bhee fansoge
kyunki
aap ne hee haemin bheja
tha.
BHINDE
Kya.
Oh
my god. Nahin nahin main aise
pachdon
main nahin fasna chahta.
Ruko
main abhee pasie laya.
Bhinde
goes and comes back with money. He gives money to Raghu.
BHINDE
Ab
to koi museebat nahin hogi.
RAGHU
Not
at all. Paisa har marj ka ilaaj
hota
hai Bhinde ji. Zadoo ki duniya
main
bhee. main abhee Raju
ko
leker aaya.
INT.
BHINDE’S APARTMENT – DAY
Raghu
and Raju come inside. Bhinde and wife are reading papers. They get up.
BHINDE
Are
Raju. Tum log itni jaldee
aa
gaye.
RAGHU
Haan
wo apparition se gaye the.
Usme
time hee kitna lagta hai.
BHINDE
To
sara kaam ho gaya na thik-
thak.
RAGHU
Jee
haan. Bas ab do hee kehtre
hain.
BHINDE
Kya.
RAGHU
Haan.
Actually wo budhau
Dumbledore
abhee bhee aapke bete
ko
le jana chahta hai. kyunki
itne
sari seatein vacant
padee
hain. teacheron ko
kaee
mahino se salary bhee nahin
dee
hai.
BHINDE
To
ab kya keh raha hai.
RAJU
Keh
raha tha. Aapke bete ka IQ
check
karega. Aur doosra ki aap
use
khelene bhee nahin dete
isliye
Baal atyahhar ke mamale
main
aapko fanswa denge.
BHINDE
Are
itni jasoosi ker rahein
hain
kya wo hamari.
RAJU
Are
Bhinde ji. ye log NASA se kam
nahin
hai. aapka gmail aur
watsapp
bhee khangal lete hain ye
to.
BHINDE
Ab
kya solution hai.
RAJU
Ye.
Raju
takes out a blue tablet.
BHINDE
Ye
kya hai.
RAJU
IQ
pill.
BHINDE
IQ
pill.
RAJU
Haan.
Ise khate hee aapke bete
ka
IQ 20 se 200 pahunch jayega.
Aur
wo bina padhe bhee IIT
main
pass ho jayega.
BHINDE
Really.
RAJU
Haan.
Bhinde
tries to take the pill.
RAJU
Five
thousand only.
BHINDE
Ek
goli panch hazar kee.
RAJU
Are
Bhinde ji seede korea se
mangwaee
hai maine. Aur ek hee
goli
to khanee hai.
Bhinde
takes out money from pocket sadly and gives to Raju. Raju gives the tablet.
RAJU
Ise raat ko dhoodh se khila dena.
IQ
ke sath sath aapke bete ko
iron
kee deficiency bhee nahin
hogi.
RAGHU
Accha
hum chalte hain.
RAJU
Are
Bhinde ji. wo bache ke khelne
ko
leker kya socha aapne.
BHINDE
Monu
beta.
Bhinde
jr comes.
BHINDE’S
SON
Boliye
papa. Mere pass time
nahin
hai. physics kee equations
ratnee
hain.
BHINDE
Dekho
beta aaj se to roj do ghante
subh
aur do ghante sham ko kheloge.
Ok.
BHINDE’S
SON
Really.
Thank you papa. Thank you
bhaiya.
Bhinde’s
son goes out.
RAJU
Ok
Bhinde jee hum log chalte hain
ab.
Namste.
BHINDE
Namste.
Raghu
and Raju go out and give Hi-Fi.
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