FADE IN…
EXT.
COMPOUND – DAY
Rangeela ji
comes with young and beautiful girl Nelly.
RANGEELA
Aaiye
aaiye. Dekhiye kitna sunder
mahol
hai.
Ambience to dekhiye.
NELLY
Beautiful.
I like it.
RAJU
Ye
kon hai we.
RAGHU
Rangeele
ki nayee kirayedaar
hogi.
RAJU
But
bhai ekdum faad hai.
RAGHU
Wo
to hai.
RANGEELA
Chaliye
main aapko aapka kamra
dikha
dun.
RAGHU
Chal
intro to ker lein.
RAJU
Namste
rangeela bhai.
RANGEELA
Oho
in dono ko abhee aana tha.
RANGEELA
Main
jara busy hain.
RAJU
Jara
madam se intro to karwa
do.
RANGEELA
Nelly
ji ye Raghu aur Raju hain.
yahin
rehte hain.
NELLY
Oh.
RAJU
Hello
Nelly ji. Bahut accha naam
hain.
NELLY
Hello.
Mujhe aap logon se milker
bahut
khusi huee.
RAJU
Hamein bhee.
RANGEELA
Chaliye
main aapko aapka apartment
dikha
doon.
NELLY
Chaliye.
RAJU
Ok
bye.
Rangeela
and Nelly go away.
RAJU
Chal
bhai intro to ho gayee. Dekhte
hain
aage kya hota hai.
RAGHU
Mujhe
lagta hai ye jaldee pat jayegi.
RAJU
Fir
to maje aa jayenge.
Both
laugh.
INT.
NELLY’S APARTMENT – DAY
Nelly is
watching TV. Just then Raghu and Raju come there.
RAGHU
Hello
Nelly
NELLY
Oh
hello Raghu and Raju. please come.
Baitho.
RAJU
Ye
aapke liye.
Raju gives her a gift.
NELLY
Are
iskee kya jaroorat thee.
RAJU
Jaroorat
kyun nahin. Aap pehli
baar
yahan rehne aayee hain.
NELLY
Thank
you very much.
RAGHU
Ok
Nelly ji. Ye bataiye aapke
parivaar
main kon kon hai.
NELLY
Sab
hain. Mummy papa bhai.
RAGHU
Ok
ok.
RAJU
Acha
aapka ko boyfriend …
SAHIL
(V.O)
Nelly
Nelly.
Just
then Sahil comes there. He is in underwear only. Both are shocked.
NELLY
Kya
hua Sahil.
SAHIL
Meri
T-shirt nahin mil rahee. Har
jagah
dekh liya.
NELLY
Bed
ke neeche dekha.
SAHIL
Nahin.
NELLY
Jao
dekho.
SAHIL
Ok. Ye dono kon hain.
NELLY
Raghu
and Raju. Mere sweet padosi.
Sahil
goes to bedroom.
NELLY
Ye
Sahil hai. Mera bf.
RAJU
Haan.
Dekha humne.
RAGHU
Aap
logon ka affair kitna purana
hai.
NELLY
Yahi
koi dhai – teen
RAJU
Itne
salon se aap sath hain.
NELLY
Saal
nahin. din.
RAJU
Kya
matlab dhai din purana affair.
NELLY
Haan.
RAGHU
Aur
abhee se aap logon ne ( hand
gestures)
ye start ker diya.
NELLY
Nahin
nahin. Wo uski shirt per chai
gir
gyaee thee.
RAJU
Oh.
(whispers) maine kaha tha
na
wo achee ladkee hai.
RAGHU
Hmmm.
Iska matlab abhee bhee hamara
chance
hai. Bf to aate jaate rehte
hain.
NELLY
Kya
hua.
RAJU
Nahin.
Kuch nahin.
RAGHU
Accha
ye bataiye aap dono ka
affair
kaise start hua.
NELLY
Well first time Sahil ne
raste
main mujhe dekha aur use
pyar ho
gaya.
NELLY
Doosre
din usne mujhe propose kiya.
Aur
maine haan ker dee. Bas affair
start
ho gaya.
RAJU
Wao.
Kitna easily sab ho gaya.
Har
ladkee ko aapse sabak lena
chahiye.
Just
then Sahil comes there dressed.
SAHIL
Ok
Nelly main chalta hun. Mujhe
kahin
jana hai. Kal fir aaunga.
NELLY
Ok.
Bye.
SAHIL
Bye.
Sahil
goes out.
RAJU
Ok
Nelly ji hum log bhee chalte
hain.
Ab to mulakaat hoti rahegi.
NELLY
Ok bye.
BOTH
Bye
INT.
APARTMENT – DAY
Raghu and Raju
are walking to and fro.
RAJU
Yar
kuch soch.
RAGHU
Tu
bhee.
RAJU
Haan
soch raha hun.
RAGHU
Mil
gaya.
RAJU
Kya.
RAGHU
Idhar
aa.
Raju
tells in Raghu’s ear.
RAJU
Wao.
Wonderful idea.
INT.
NELLY’S APARTMENT – DAY
Nelly is doing
make-up in front of the mirror. Raghu and Raju come there.
RAJU
Hello
Nelly.
NELLY
Hello
Raghu and Raju.
RAJU
Kahin
ja rahee theein aap.
NELLY
Haan.
Sahil mujhe dinner per le
ja
raha hai.
RAJU
Ok
ok.
RAGHU
Accha
Nelly ji aap kaam kya kerti
hain.
NELLY
Main
film actress hun.
RAGHU
Oh
very good. Very good.
NELLY
Aap
log kya kerte hain.
RAGHU
Waise
to humara business hai. But
hamari
ek side job bhee hai.
NELLY
Wo
kya.
RAGHU
Well
uske bare main hum kisi se
batate
nahin hai lekin agar aap
insist
ker rahee hain to bata dete
hain.
NELLY
Nahin
main insist nahin ker rahee.
RAGHU
Oh..
chaliye fir bhee aapko bata
dete
hain. Lekin ye raaj hum dono
ke
beech main hee rehna chahiye.
NELLY
Ok
Raju tum baher jao.
RAGHU
Mera matlab hum teenon ke
beech.
NELLY
Ok
Raju tum yaheen raho. Haan to
ab
batao.
RAGHU
Hum
log vampire hunters hain.
NELLY
Kya..
RAJU
Haan.
NELLY
Vampire
hunter. Ye kya hota hai.
RAJU
Vampire
hunter. Jo vampires ko
hunt
kerte hain.
NELLY
Lekin
vampires to bas filmon main
hote
hain.
RAJU
Nahin
Nelly jee hakkekat main bhee
hote
hain. Dracula ke bare main nahin
suna.
NELLY
Haan
per wo bhee to film hee thee.
RAGHU
Film
nahin thee. Reality se inspired
film.
NELLY
Lekin
Dracula to mar chukka tha.
RAJU
Lekin
uske vanshaj abhee bhee zinda
hain.Jo
aam insaanon ke vesh main
haamre
beech ghum rahe hain.
RAGHU
Aur
bholi bhali khoobsurat ladkiyon
ko
pyar ke zhanse main faans ker
RAJU
Unko
dinner date per le jaker
RAGHU
Unka
khoon pee jate hain.
NELLY
Nahin..mujhe
dar lag raha hai.
RAJU
Daro nahin. Hum tuhare saath
hain.
RAGHU
Tumhari
her vampire se raksha karenge.
NELLY
Ok
thanks. Abhi tak aap logon
ne
kisi vampire ko pakda hai.
RAGHU
Haan.
Ab tak chattis.
NELLY
Itne
jayada.
RAJU
Waise
Nelly ji Sahil ke bare main
aap
kitna janti hain.
NELLY
Jayda
nahin.
RAJU
Janiyega
bhee mat.
NELLY
Kyun.
RAJU
Kyunki
haemin shak hai.
NELLY
Kis
baat ka shak.
RAJU
Aapne dekha nahin use kaisee
khusboo
aatee
hai.
RUBY.
Nahin maine use abhee sungha nahin
hai.
lekin fir bhee mujhe to nahin
aatee
RAJU
Hum logon ko aatee hai.
RAGHU
Accha
aapne gor nahin kiya uska behaviour
kitna
strange hai.
RAJU
Kaise
wo hum logon ko dekhte hee
bina
bole bhag gaya tha.
NELLY
Aap
log kehna chahte hain ki Sahil
vampire
hai. How ridiculus. Ha ha.
RAJU
Ok.
Abhee aapko haamri baat ajeeb
lag
rahee hai. Lagni bhee chahiye.
RAGHU
Accha ek kaam kariyega aap.
Uske
behaviour per najar
rakhiyega. Aur
hum log bhee apni
investigation
ker lenege. Bhagwaan kare Sahil
aisa
na ho.
Just
then we hear a car horn.
NELLY
Ok
Sahil aa gaya main chalti hun.
RAJU
Nelly
yaad rakhna. Vampires din
main
nahin nikaltein hain.
RAGHU
Aur
wo raat main kabhi nahin sote.
NELLY
Haan
twilight dekhi hai maine.
Ha
ha. Bye.
Nelly
listens and then leaves.
INT.
RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Sahil and Minchi
are having dinner.
NELLY
Sahil
ek baat puchhun.
SAHIL
Haan
poocho
NELLY
Tum
mujhe lunch per kab le ja
rahe
ho.
Sahil
thinks for a while.
NELLY
(WHISPER TO HERSELF)
Ye
kis soch main pad gaya. Kahin ye
sach
main vampire to nahin hai. Kya
sochne
lage Sahil.
SAHIL
Nahin
soch raha tha. Monday se
thursday
tak to main office main
busy
hun. Aisa kerte hain Saturday
ko
milte hain.
NELLY
Lunch
ke liye na. Dinner nahin.
SAHIL
Haan
baba.
NELLY
Sahil
lunch. Din main.Dhoop..
SAHIL
Kaisee
batein ker rahe ho Nelly.
Main
kya itna ganwar lagta hun.
Mujhe
pata hai lunch din main hee
kiya
jata hai.
NELLY
Nahin
sorry.
SAHIL
Ok. Khao.
NELLY
Aaa
(yawns). Mujhe to bahut neend
aa
rahee hai. Tumhe nahin aa rahi.
SAHIL
Nahin.
NELLY
Kya.
Bilkul bhee nahin aa rahi.
SAHIL
Nahin
baba.
NELLY
Kyun.
Tum sote bhee ho.
SAHIL
Ha
ha ha. Tumhe main kya vampire
lagta
hun. Mera sone ka time 10
baje
hai. Mujhe usee time neend
aati
hai. Chalo khana khatm
karo
fir main tumhe ghar chod
deta
hun.
NELLY
Ok.
Both
keep eating.
INT.
SAHIL’S APARTMENT – DAY
Sahil is
reading a paper. Just then Raghu and Raju come. Raju is in getup of an old lady
and Raghu in getup of a weired director with a hat.
RAGHU
Hello
Sahil gupta.
Sahil
is startled. He gets up.
SAHIL
Kon
ho aap log. Mere ghar per
kya
ker rahe ho.
RAGHU
Calm
down calm down child. Main
tumhe
sab babata hun. Actually ye
Shravni
ji hain aur main Agarsen.
Dharma
production se aayee hain
SAHIL
Dharma
production.
RAGHU
Karan
johar wali. Unhone hee
haemin
yahan bheja hai.
SAHIL
Lekin
kyun.
RAJU
Batate
hain. Batate hain. Itne
excited
mat hoiye.
RAJU
Accha
ye bataiye us din aap
chopati
per apni bike per lete
hue
the.
SAHIL
Haan.
RAJU
Usi
time aapki bagal se ek red
Ferrari
gujri thee.
SAHIL
Maine
dhayn nahin diya.
RAGHU
Koi
baat nahin. Ferrari gujari
thee.
RAJU
Jante
hain us Ferrari main kon tha.
SAHIL
Kon.
RAJU
Khud
Karan sir.
SAHIL
To.
RAJU
To kya. Wo pichle das salon
se apni
sript ke liye suitable lead
ki khoj
ker rahe hain. Lekin aaj tak
unhe
aisa koi nahin mila. Jo is
special
role main fit ho sake.
SAHIL
Lekin
vaun aur siddharth to hain.
RAGHU
Are
wo dono to choclatee hain. Is
role
ke liye aisa ladka chahiye
jo
ek sath choclatee, aamlate aur
stylette
ho. Lekin jab unki najar
aap
per padi to unke ander se
aawaj
aayee. Karan beta yahi hai.
yahi
hai tera – naughty vampire.
SAHIL
Naughty
vampire?
RAJU
Haan.
Unki agli film. Aur usme
aapko
lead role ke liye chuna gaya
hai.
RAGHU
Badahee
ho
Ragu
shakes hand.
SAHIL
Mujhe
..to..yakeen..he..nahin..
Sahil
is overwhelmed and sits on sofa.
RAGHU
Hota
hai hota hai. Dharma production
main
lead role milna koi mamuli
baat
nahin hai.
SAHIL
Matlab
mujhe raton raat paisa, izzat
soharat
milegi aur ladkiyan mere
aage
peeche ghumengi.
RAJU
Of
course. To aap taiyarr hain
lead
role nibhane ke liye.
SAHIL
Ji.
Ji haan.
RAJU
Lekin
haamri ek sharat hai.
SAHIL
Kya.
RAJU
Karan
sir chahte hain ki jab aap
vampire
ka role nibahyein to
ekdum
natural lagein. Iske
liye
haemin training ke
jimmewari
sounpi gayee hai.
SAHIL
Ok.
to mujhe kya kerna hoga.
RAJU
Bas
aap wo kerte jaiye jo hum
kahenge.
SAHIL
Ok.
INT.
SAHIL’S APARTMENT – DAY
Sahil
is wearing black coat. Raghu and Raju are talking to him.
RAJU
First
lesson. Aap din main
kahin
nahin jaynege. Kyunki dhoop
se
vampire jal jate hain.
SAHIL
Ok.
RAGHU
Doosra
lesson.
Vampire
kabhi sote nahin. to aapko
bhee
kabhi nahin sona hai.
SAHIL
Lekin ye sab to shooting main ho
jayega.
Fir abhee se kyun.
RAGHU
Ek
accha actor wo hota hai. jo
kirdaar
main doob jaye. Use hee
jeene
lage. Isliye. Bas ye socha
tum
sach ke vampire ho. Fir dekho
tum
parde per aag laga doge.
SAHIL
Sach
main.
RAJU
Haan.
SAHIL
Ok
aaj se main bhool jaunga ki main
ek
aadmi hun. Main sirf aur sirf
ek
vampire hun. Haaa.
RAJU
Yahi
to hum chahte hain.
Raghu and Raju
are sitting with Nelly.
NELLY
Nahin
mujhe poora yakeen hai
Sahil
vampire nahin ho sakta.
RAJU
Lekin
kyun.
NELLY
Kyunki
wo mujhe lunch per le ja raha
hai
agle Saturday ko. Agar wo vampire
hota
to din main baher nahin nikalta.
RAGHU
Ho
akta hai usne jaldee main aisa
bol
diya ho. Aisa karo use ek
baar
aur puchna. Fir sari hakkekat
samne
aa jayegi.
SAHIL
(V.O)
Nelly
Sahil
comes.
NELLY
Sahil
tum.
SAHIL
Haan.
Tumse kuch private baat kerni
hai.
Nelly
goes to one side.
NELLY
Haan
bolo.
SAHIL
Wo
saturaday ka lunch cancel kerna
padega.
NELLY
Kyun.
SAHIL
Meri
office main jaroori meeting
hai.
NELLY
Saturday
ko to office close hota
hai.
SAHIL
Nahin
sirf meeting ke liye jana hai.
Accha
main chalta hun. Mujhe bahut
neend
aa rahee hai.
NELLY
Neend.
Raat ko tum soye nahin.
SAHIL
Nahin.
wo kuch kaam tha. Ok bye.
Sahiil
goes away.
SAHIL
Ab
bolo.
RAJU
Ab
bhee tum kahogi wo vampire nahin
hai.
NELLY
Lekin
ho sakta hai Saturday ko uski
genuine
meeting ho. Aur kal raat
koi
kaam raha ho. Jab tak koi thos
saboot
nahin milta main nahin maan
sakti.
Nelly
goes away.
RAJU
Thos
saboot.
RAGHU
Chal
le aate hain.
Raghu
and Raju leave.
INT.
SAHIL’S APARTMENT – DAY
Sahil is
standing in dress of vampire. He has two large canines. Raghu and Raju are also
in their get ups
RAGHU
Ok
hum ek scene inact karenge.Tum is
budhiya
ke gale main apne daant
gadaoge
aur iska khoon piyoge. Ok.
SAHIL
Ok.
RAGHU
Thik
hai. Ek minute ruko.
Raghu
goes to corner and call Nelly.
RAGHU
Nelly
jaldi aao. Gajab ho gaya.
NELLY
Kya hua. Kahan aana hai.
RAGHU
Purani
factory. Kitna time lagega.
NELLY
Five
minutes. Lekin hua kya.
RAGHU
Wo
tum aaker dekh lena.
NELLY
Ok.
Raghu
comes back.
SAHIL
Start
karein.
RAGHU
Bas
panch minute.
After
five minutes.
RAGHU
Ok
start.
Raghu
lies on bed. Sahil comes and start drinking her blood from her throat. Just
then Nelly comes and opens the door.
NELLY
Nahi….
Sahil
looks at Nelly and comes to her.
NELLY
Vampire.
SAHIL
Ye
sach nahin hai.
Just
then Raju hits him on head. He takes Nelly and runs away.
Raghu
also runs away.
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